Cookie Cutter

A couple days ago a client came in to get her nose pierced. She was very very polite.  Yes Sir. Thank you. Yes, Please. No, thank you. I’m not sure how old she was, but not in her 20′s. During my normal conversation I asked her how long she thought about getting this done. Her answer resonated with me. I understood her immediately. She said she wanted it since the 70′s. Back in the 70′s, people weren’t getting pierced at the rate we are now. It was in the 80′s that it started gaining popularity and peaked in the 90′s. So, if she wanted it in the 70′s, she must have been one of the more eccentrics, yearning for more in life.

She wanted to have her nose pierced during a time when people didn’t get that done. Why? Because she grew up in Texas. (In Texas it’s still illegal to sell devices designed to stimulate human genitalia.) She was trying to be the perfect girl. Living the cookie cutter life. Only doing what was acceptable by the people around, not doing anything that was out of the “norm”. Much like I was when I was in my 20′s.

We try so hard to fit into the cookie cutter shapes that are defined for us. But, who decides this for us and why do we care? The American Psychiatric Association? Homosexuality was listed as a mental disorder in DSM-III until 1974.  The APA’s vote was 5,854 supporting it’s removal and 3,810 opposing it’s removal. The DSM-IV lists 374 different ways to be mentally ill, up from 297 in the previous edition. In the 50′s it was very common for men to hit their wives; does that mean it’s normal? In 1985 they were planning to include Masochistic Personality Disorder in their next edition. A disorder that claimed

Normal. What does that mean? Is it the bell curve of common occurrences? Just because a majority of people fall into one category, it doesn’t mean people don’t exist outside. If a majority of people are on antidepressants and miserable with their lives, does that mean it’s normal to be miserable or unhappy with your life. If that’s normal, I’d rather not be normal.

I’ve been meeting more and more people who feel different. They feel as though their inner thoughts wont fit in with what they’re suppose to be. They hinder themselves. They hide their inner feelings and independent thoughts. They feel their bodies aren’t what they’re suppose to look like. They may not be as skinny as the people they see in magazines, on television or in advertisements. But, that doesn’t mean their body isn’t what it’s suppose to be.

I grew up hearing, “Marcus, that’s not normal.” I was told, “Go with the flow. Don’t go against the grain.” That’s why I use to hide every thought, desire, urge. I didn’t want people to think I was weird. I was sick of people thinking I was weird. So, I tried to fit in. It left me feeling empty, unfulfilled, and unsatisfied with my life. I did what a lot of people do, I filled myself with anti-depressants. I tried to numb that inner urge that would drive me towards the “abnormal”.

I heard of someone who was an inspiration to me. She turned her back on everything.  That’s what I wanted to do. I wanted to stand as an example. I wanted to be able to offer people another option from what they hear life is suppose to be. I wanted to give another option to what individuality is suppose to be.

This is why I love body modification so much! Each person gets to decide what they want to do with their bodies. They get to decide and alter what their bodies look like. Sure, a lot of them get similar piercings, but they’re making a choice.  Each person gets to choose the placement and nobody’s body is the same. No matter how many navel piercings I do, each one is different. Each experience is different. Each is a different tumbler in the combination lock of identity. Once they make that decision for the first piercing, it opens the flood gates! They overcome that initial fear and apprehension. Some say that piercings are addictive. I say, addiction is something you want to stop.

Just because you feel that you have to fit into a cookie cutter lifestyle, you can still nurture that individual inside. You can still explore things that may be considered “not normal”. The more individual you are; the more individual your thoughts will be; and the more individual your ideas will be. Cookie cutters have cookie cutter thoughts, cookie cutter ideas, cookie cutter solutions. Cookie cutter ideas don’t produce invention. Those who break the stifling restrictions of “normal” come up with creative thoughts, creative ideas, and creative solutions.